You've been seeking something special. Don't settle now.
1 hour - $1500 (seldom solo, fitting for duets)
2 hour - $2500 (let's order in)
3 hour - $3000 (let's go out)
4 hour - $3500 (let's get dinner)
6 hour - $4500 (spa day & lunch or dinner & a show)
Sleepover - $7000 (pillow fight & breakfast in bed)
Multi-Day - Inquire (accordingly – based on length & itinerary)
* If you are a couple seeking your unicorn, there is a 50% supplement to my fees. I require a little one-on-one time with each partner at the beginning of our time together.
FLY ME TO YOU
I live in NYC, but if you don’t anticipate us meeting here, I can travel to you by plane, train, or automobile - let’s hope with less snafus than the Steve Martin movie! Trips along the northeast corridor, such as Boston, Philadelphia, and DC, are super easy and don't require much notice as I love hopping on the Amtrak Acela – I find train travel terribly romantic. For anywhere else, with a reasonable amount of notice I’ll be delighted to fly to you.
If we're spending the night together, you should know the sandman sprinkles at least seven hours worth of sleep in my eyes, though you will endear yourself to me further if you let me sleep until I wake naturally. Multi-day engagements require some time to myself each day to meditate, workout, and generally primp & polish.
I cherish rapport and long-term friendships, and like to reward those who do as well. After we’ve met and established chemistry, we can discuss benefactor benefits for monthly (or more frequent!) get togethers. While I will always prioritize my benefactors above new clients, this is of course contingent on mutual availability, as I naturally have personal projects to tend to as well.
They say that God is in the details. Well, this Goddess likes hers to be paid close attention.
THE NITTY GRITTY
Naturally my listed fees cover my time and companionship only. Not only is this the obligatory disclaimer but also indicates that any travel and accommodations that may be necessary are supplemental.
Screening compliance outlined below is mandatory and alternate suggestions are unacceptable – there is a difference between establishing that Warren Buffett exists, and proving that you are Warren Buffett; simply sending me a link to a LinkedIn profile or telling me to google you does not accomplish identity verification. That being said, if you happen to actually be Warren Buffett, hit me up.
Introduce yourself. At a minimum, include your name, where online you found my contact info, desired time and location details. Share as many more details about yourself you like – approach our correspondence like you would on a traditional dating website. I'm selective about who I invest time and energy into; make your introductory email so appealing that I'm compelled to spend it on you.
I require references from reputable colleagues of mine and/or employment verification (the latter being an email from your work account; I'll provide an unpublished inbox for this purpose). If you have sincere celebrity concerns, and my typical process does not work for you, I have an established workaround.
You may contact me at email@example.com (or, if you prefer, firstname.lastname@example.org)– email is my primary means of communication, a phone number will only be provided if we are traveling together.
I admit I can be a bit terse in messaging, as I use it only for scheduling since I believe in living offline as much as possible. You'll find me quite friendly in person, I just prefer conversation over correspondence.
Deposits are required at my volition. Both my stellar reputation and your trust are worth far more to me than running off with a few hundred dollars. Accepting your invitation means I have declined another, so deposits are not refundable but can be used towards a rescheduled date if you notify me at least 48 hours from our scheduled date. Should I need to cancel, I'll of course return the amount in full.
If we are meeting in public, do not hand me an envelope: this is terribly indiscreet and I will not accept it. Tuck it in a gift bag, preferably in a book, or at a minimum in a sealed greeting card. Private handoffs should be displayed in clear view which I will collect while you excuse yourself to freshen up.
Speaking of which, while I appreciate you get squeaky clean whilst we’re together, as I have an acute sense of smell I prefer my partner not wear any cologne or other detectable scents. Similarly, please do not arrive smelling of smoke, campfire being the exception.
Lastly, I only provide references for those I have met in the past six months, and prefer to give one for each time we have met.
Ready to meet?