You've been seeking something special. Don't settle now.
FLY ME TO YOU
I live in NYC, but if you don’t anticipate us meeting here, I can travel to you by plane, train, or automobile – let’s hope with less snafus than the Steve Martin movie! Trips along the northeast corridor – Boston, Philadelphia, DC – are super easy and don't require much notice as I love hopping on the Amtrak Acela. For anywhere else, with a reasonable amount of notice, I’ll be delighted to fly to you.
Ready to meet?
LET’S DO THIS
Naturally my listed fees cover my time and companionship only. Not only is this the obligatory disclaimer but also indicates that any travel and accommodations that may be necessary are additional.
Screening compliance outlined below is mandatory and alternate suggestions are unacceptable – there is a difference between establishing that Warren Buffett exists, and proving that you are Warren Buffett; simply sending me a link to a LinkedIn profile or telling me to google you does not accomplish identity verification. That being said, if you happen to actually be Warren Buffett, hit me up.
Deposits are required at my volition, and though not refundable may be used towards a rescheduled date if you notify me at least 48 hours in advance; thereafter, a cancellation fee is expected. Should I need to cancel, I will of course return the full amount.
If meeting in public, don’t hand me an envelope: this is terribly indiscreet and I won’t accept it. Tuck it in a gift bag or a book. Privately, it should be displayed in clear view which I will collect while you excuse yourself to freshen up. I do expect you to get squeaky clean while we’re together, as I have an acute sense of smell. I also prefer my partner not wear cologne or other detectable scents, including cigarettes.
I happily provide references for those I have met in the past six months, though limit to one for each time we have met in the interest of keeping everyone recent and respectable. Please ask before sharing my contact info when offering me as a reference, this is partially in the interest of your discretion so I know that inquiries of your character are by your consent.
I require glowing references from reputable and independent colleagues of mine and/or employment verification, the latter being an email from your work account; I'll provide an unpublished inbox for this purpose. IDs will be checked upon meeting.
You may contact me through my handy dandy form below – moving forward, email is my primary means of communication, a phone number will only be provided if we are traveling together. I admit I can be a bit terse in messaging, I use it only for scheduling since I believe in living offline as much as possible. You'll find me quite friendly in person, I just prefer conversation over correspondence.
In your introduction, share as many details about yourself as you like – approach our exchanges like you would on a traditional dating website. Remember, there’s no such thing as a second first impression; I'm pretty selective about who I invest my time and energy into, so the more thoughtful your note, the more compelled I am to spend it on you.