A lithe, sensual creature, I have oft been described as a charming blend of intellect and quirk. A sybarite at heart, I believe life is a chance gift that I intend to enjoy fully.
I aim to please, and, admittedly, damn well like being pleased myself. What brings me pleasure?
- a single suitcase expertly packed to last a long weekend away
- clinking glasses of scotch in between freshly unmade bedsheets
- the feel of thumbs kneading just above my dimples of Venus
These are just a few flashes that come to my mind, and I'd love to share a few more personal ones over dinner (I'm sure you can think of a few ways yourself to bring a smile to my lips).
What brings you pleasure? Me, hopefully.
I seek to be someone who can become a bona fide friend. An intrepid spirit to enhance your evenings, your travels, your worldview. Ambitious? Perhaps. In this floating world of ours, there are so many missed connections -- let us not be one of them.
There is much to learn about each other. If you would like a head start, I encourage you to read my diary to glean a deeper sense of my personality and interests. I only hope you give me the chance to get to know you, too.
If you have a kind soul, an open mind, and are sincerely interested in making a connection with another human being, then I look forward to offering you the same.
Naturally, my fees above cover my time and companionship only. Not only is this the obligatory disclaimer, but also indicates that any travel and accommodations that may be necessary are supplemental.
I am available to join you at any upscale hotel; visits to private residences demand heavier screening, unless we have already met or you've met one of my colleagues I know personally.
If you require me to secure us a venue, I'm happy to make a reservation to ease potential privacy concerns you may have. I am admittedly a bit of a hotel snob, so can offer a few suggestions or will book your existing preference. If you prefer, I have access to a discreet and cozy apartment downtown.
Introduce yourself. At a minimum, include your name, where online you found my contact info, desired time and location details.
Share any details about yourself you like – approach our correspondence like you would on a traditional dating website. I require references from reputable colleagues of mine and/or employment verification (the latter being an email from your work account; I can provide an unpublished inbox for you to send this to if you prefer). If you have sincere celebrity concerns, and my typical process does not work for you, I have an established workaround,
Please email me at email@example.com – this is my primary means of communication, a phone number will only be provided if we are traveling together.
Screening compliance is mandatory, alternate suggestions are unacceptable – there is a difference between establishing that Warren Buffett exists, and proving that you are Warren Buffett. Much like I could send you an IMBD link to Audrey Hepburn (though there is a certain resemblance), sending me a link to a LinkedIn profile or telling me to Google you does not accomplish identity verification. That being said, if you do happen to actually be Warren Buffett, hit me up.
DUETS & COUPLES
I have a plethora of charming friends who would love to join us should the event call for more than a plus one! Let me know if this intrigues you. If you are already a couple seeking me as your unicorn, there is a $500 supplement to each rendezvous. I require a little one-on-one time with each partner at the beginning of our time together.
Deposits are required at my volition – I have a stellar reputation that is worth far more to me than running off with a few hundred dollars. As I incur expenses and decline other engagements when I confirm time with you, a 50% fee is contracted should you cancel up until 24 hours before our scheduled date; after that, the whole fee is required (don't worry, I cap this for extended bookings and omit entirely for my regular clients). Of course, should I be the one to cancel, I shall return the amount in full.
If we're spending the night together, you should know that the sandman sprinkles at least seven hours worth of sleep in my eyes (although you will endear yourself to me eternally if you let me sleep until I wake naturally). Multi-day travel engagements require a few hours to myself each day so that I may recharge my extroverted-introvert battery.
As I have an acute sense of smell, I do not wear perfumes and prefer my partner not wear any scents either. Similarly, please do not arrive smelling of smoke (campfire being the exception).
Due to policy changes made by TER, as of 2017, I no longer allow new reviews to be posted. I firmly only provide references for those I have met in the past six months, and prefer to only give one reference for each time we have met – however, a token of your gratitude for my time spent vouching for you goes a long way in my reconsideration of said preference.